In sharing this story with another teacher, I was informed that this new friend spends about half the day in the mainstream classroom and the other half in the special education classroom. Even during her mainstreamed time, she often has to step into the hallway to "take a break". H, who is generally a painfully shy and reserved child is seemingly unaffected by the social, cognitive, and physical differences of her new friend. She has even been noticed attempting to calm other agitated children simply by standing near them in support.
Differences generally don't matter to young children. They accept them and move on. They are taught to be intolerant. As educators and members of adult society we must always remember to put our best foot forward. We can never know who might be learning from us.
Differences generally don't matter to young children. They accept them and move on. They are taught to be intolerant. As educators and members of adult society we must always remember to put our best foot forward. We can never know who might be learning from us.
Inclusion occurs at the school where I teach as well. In order to keep a resource teacher with the little group, all of the inclusion children go to one class. This year it is not mine. But we do share recess time. It is so true, kids aren't naturally intolerant. They are just curious. With a smiling face ask, "Why is she in a wheel chair?" And the teacher will give a child's version of the diagnosis. Then all 3 will look at each other and shrug their shoulders as if it's no big deal. And for very young learners, it isn't. They are so much more empathetic than we give them credit for. Like your little ones, there are some who may make noise, or need "A break" to calm down, and the kids will just let it roll of them. No biggie! It's sad when grownups care more about these things than the students!
ReplyDeleteHi Dana,
ReplyDeleteThis is a great story and I love watching that kind of friendship blossom, particularly when it is unexpected! I would note, though, that when they feel unsafe, even very young children can begin to be intolerant without input from others. For example, my three-year-old daughter has Sensory Processing Disorder and is a seeker of heavy input and motion (jumping, bumping, running, spinning, swinging). She is also very impulsive. This combination of seeking behavior and impulsivity has led to her daycare classmates getting hurt, though not intentionally. She has received occupational and social-emotional therapy which has helped her teachers and my family to know how to best support her. While she has been able to build and maintain friendships with some classmates, others have very clearly shunned her simply due to the fact that they can't predict what will happen when she is around and thus they cannot feel comfortable or safe. Luckily, she has wonderful teachers who are very proactive and genuinely care about her and her classmates.
You are very lucky, and so am I. This story involves my own daughter (K) and one of her classmates. I have been contemplating your comments for quite some time. This past weekend I was asked to advise one of my friends regarding her youngest son (1st grade) and his in-school behavior. He is normally a very quiet child who likes to play alone; however, when confronted or uncomfortable he will throw a full-on tantrum--screaming, shouting, thrashing on the floor. The children in his class are rather cautious around him, further alienating him, and causing his disruptive behaviors to compound. My friend has consulted the school psychologist, myself, and several other resources. Thankfully, support systems exist for her and I wholeheartedly hope that he can see a turn-around in the classroom before these behavioral issues begin to negatively impact his academic progress. Thank you for sharing and I wish you the best of luck
DeleteDana,
ReplyDeleteI am a teacher of children diagnosed with autism. I too have noticed that younger children accept each other with pure innocence. Unfortunately, in my opinion at around the age of 6 their attitudes toward children with learning differences are not as accepting. I agree that as adults we need to model tolerance for our students and peers.
So far, so good. As this child approaches the age of 6, she has been much more combative and is a regular boundary pusher. I am curious to see how this relationship progresses throughout the year.
DeleteDana,
ReplyDeleteFrom the mouths of babes comes pure innocence. You are so right, children don't even notice nor do they care about obvious differences in other children; they just want to have a play mate. We as adults especially educators can learn a lot from children if we just take the time to listen.
I couldn't agree with you more, but I am fearful, as this child ages and becomes more influenced by the relationships that seem to serve her best. I am trying my hardest to ensure her purity and support her seemingly unconditional acceptance of peers.
Delete