Before this week, I had never heard of the term microaggression. What I have learned is that, unfortunately, in our current society slights and missteps are made numerous times each day, usually by even the most well-intentioned people. While I try my best to always take others feelings into consideration, I know that there are times that my subconscious kicks in and I might say something that causes another to feel shamed or invalidated to some degree.
Just this week, I saw a man switch lines at the grocery store after noticing who was in front of him in line after making a judgment based on the woman's appearance. I, myself, felt disappointed and lost confidence when I was referred to as a "babysitter" a few days ago. Additionally, I know that my daughter questioned her personal and family culture after her friend asked her what she does on Sundays if she doesn't go to church.
I know that the work I do is valuable and that I plan to excel in my career in Early Childhood education. I also know that while I own and operate a family child care home, to some I am still just a babysitter. They will never know what I have sacrificed and still do sacrifice so that I can do the work that I do and strive to make myself available to my children while they are still young. This does not mean that I am unaffected by the words that I hear, and although I usually attempt to use them as motivation and drive I certainly do not forget them.
I don't know that i will ever know what it feels like to have some make a snap judgment about me based on my looks, as I closely resemble most members of American dominant society. What I do know is that I truly felt for the woman who was being avoided based on presumptions made about her race, religion, and culture. On one level I was glad that my children did not witness this occurrence, but alternately, had they noticed, I would have found this a great opportunity to talk with my children about diversity, respect, and acceptance.
Finally, I know that as my children get older they will have to find greater levels of confidence so that they may handle cultural situations as they arise. What I fear is the times that they will feel negatively about who they are based on another person's opinions or behaviors. It is my intention to provide them with a strong moral compass and the ability to trust in themselves and act in a manner they can feel proud of.
Thank you for sharing this week! I did not know the significance and severity of microaggression. I really enjoyed hearing how you are going to take this experience and talk to your children more about diversity. I think this is the key to creating a more equal environment for our children and generations to come.
ReplyDeleteYes, Dana, I agree that we must all be careful with our words and actions, when dealing with others who are different than ourselves in some way. The term microaggressions was new to me as far as the term but I have heard of many of the -isms. We probably have all unintentionally made a mistake and said something hurtful to another. As long as we keep striving to consciously watch what we are saying, we -as a society will be okay, for the most part. Enjoyed the blog.
ReplyDeleteHi Dana,
ReplyDeleteAs always I enjoy reading your post. Just as you mentioned until this week I too had never heard of the term microaggression, but have certainly been a receiver of such attitudes. I also have had parent make the comment about me being a babysitter, although I was a little upset, I politely reminded the parent that when children leave our center, they are prepared for Kindergarten, they can count to 100, they know their alphabets, they spell and write their name, the know the basic shapes and colors, the days of the week, months of year and are reading on a list first grade level, I believe it takes much more than just babysitting in order to be able to do what we do on a daily basis.